I want to die

Written By: Praveen  |  Category: Life  |  (9) Comments  |  

Disclaimer: This post in no way encourages suicide/killing or even glorifies death in any aspect.
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problems aplenty
life is one big hell of a soap opera

god closes one door and opens another
but in my case, god closes one door(problem)
and opens up many more doors (problems)

sometimes i wonder
if there is anyone called god
while at times i wonder
why god does this to me

it seems
with each step i take
i sink deeper and deeper into the quicksand

days keep rolling
time seemingly running a marathon
but my problems dont move an inch

each day
each night
problems and more problems

seemingly no escape
seemingly no solution
i question the very purpose of my existence

with no one to worry about me
with no one to call my own
from one quicksand into another quicksand
i drag myself everyday to live
in the hope of escaping from it all

you might think i am a probelamatic child
you might think i am one “wretched” creature
fact is i want to live
fact is i want to be happy

the simple truth is i have a life
the simple truth is i want to be normal
the simple truth is i am also a human
with feelings
the simple truth is i am not immune to pain
the simple truth is, i am like you
wanting to live like you
be happy like you

but unlike you
my hands are tied
i am this little angel stuck inside this prison
with my wings clipped
my feet tied to an iron ball
i cannot fly away
i cannot run away

stuck here in this cage of mine
i am a punchbag
a punchbag
my master takes out his anger on

i am an angel
stuck in hell
i wait for a prince to rescue me
i wait for my guardian angel to save me

my tears
and
my cries
are all invain

with no strength left
seemingly destined to live a life like this
i curse myself
i blame myself
for the life that is supposed to mine

with no desire to live
in this hell that is my home
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die

i squeeze in every ounce of strength
that i can muster
lift my hands high up in the air
the iron ball that was once “tied” around my legs
now lands with a thud
on my angelic face

the life that i dreamt of
is just a dream
the life that i wished to have
is just a wish
the life that is mine
is no more

i wanted to die
i wanted to escape life
and now, with the blood slowly trickling away from my face
my life is just a countdown away
a simple count of one to ten
a simple transformation of my life
into death, that someone else wanted!

(addon)

a life that i once wanted to live
now destined to be fulfilled
only after death
life is, afterall, a dream
from which death awakens us

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note:
each day everyone one of us face a lot of obstacles and problems at almost every walk of life. Sometimes during such times of struggle, thoughts of ending one’s life def comes into everyone’s mind. Simply denying it for the heck of denying is stupidity. Maybe ppl would not publicily acknowledge it, but the fact is everyone at some point or the other would have thought about it – even if it is for a single second.

My fav quote is:- “Life is a dream from which death awakens us”.
hence the addon lines.

The dream is all yours. How you live the dream is what matters. Maybe not all dreams come true, but a dream is the biggest source of strength and inspiration that we all have and thats what separates us from normal primates and humans. Not all dreams are good and not all dreams are bad. Like real life, there are good dreams and bad dreams. We need to choose the ones we want and we need to have the “inner strength” to come out of the bad dream.

Afterall, what happened yesterday is history, Whats happening today is reality and Whats going to happen tomorrow is destiny.
And that destiny is in your hands :)

I do not want to get into an argument about destiny and god. another time, another poem :)

some clarifications:

Angel = every one is an angel :)

As to prince, thats a general statement. Whenever in times of need, we tend to say “prince/brave warrior”, hence these lines :)

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Comments

  • I Want to Live | Poetry of Life said: (Wednesday June 4th, 2008)

    [...] can either be taken as a continuation of the other poem (i want to die) or can be taken as a standalone [...]

  • deafeningxxsilence said: (Friday December 5th, 2008)

    i love this poem!

  • priyanka said: (Sunday March 29th, 2009)

    the poem given above “i want to die” is a fact of every once’s life and we all have to suffer it. and may be i m suffering to …..and wish my life willl be thy way i dremed about it .i liked this poem very much ..coz its just thy felling which will be danceing all over my mind.

  • MILAN said: (Monday August 10th, 2009)

    the poem “i want to die”…
    its truely TRUTH…
    its said and everyone says that problems are part of life and one has to face them bravely and all that…but,,,what about their freqency and intensity…
    this poem truely executes and showcases one’s sufferings from such hily intensed amd freqent problems,
    and thing is that everyone wnts to be happy,who rnt want?? and its too difficult to have a smile on face in such time…bt one has to for the sake of people…
    Greate poem…

  • sissy said: (Monday August 31st, 2009)

    this is like one of tha beat poems i have read yet and it is true and you really have a great talent for wat you do this truly is a great poem!!!!!!!!

  • E. said: (Sunday January 30th, 2011)

    Thank you for that poem. Thank you so much. It contains everything I feel, I think about … I want to die … I’m sick on anorexia nervosa. My life is like the hell … I can not keep going with my life. I think someday I will give up . I will die …
    Once again thank you, that you wrote my thoughts …

  • s. said: (Monday June 6th, 2011)

    this is exactly how i feel now. it’s nice to know someone else feels this way.

  • Rafat said: (Friday October 14th, 2011)

    Evn I think dat my life z jst a hell nd I shud give up bt suddenlymy mind remind me abt my son nd after dat I js give up ds feelings……. All prsns hv some probs on dere life bt evry1 shud survive 4 dem u luv, u care, 4 dem who z dependant on u nd 4 dem who is nthin widout u……. My son is nthing without me if smthin happens to me I dnt kno wat ll happen to my son….. Dats y I m livin ds hell life…..

  • nay said: (Monday March 12th, 2012)

    ey im sorry u feel that way but keep prasing god and i hope that it gets better for you!! :0


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