the alarm goes off and i lie there longer than i should,
the ceiling fan turning slow above my head,
some mornings i can get up without thinking twice,
some mornings even that feels like too much to ask;
by noon the list on my table has not moved an inch,
the glass of water beside me has gone warm and untouched,
i keep telling myself just start with one small thing,
but my hands stay where they are and the hours pass on;
some part of me wants to walk out and do something real,
another part just wants to lie here till the light changes,
i watch the shadow move across the wall without much care,
and somewhere in between i lose the whole afternoon;
in the evening i stand on the balcony and look at nothing,
the traffic sounds the same as it does every single day,
i tell myself tomorrow i will get up and actually move,
but i have told myself that more times than i can count;
tonight i am still the same person who could not start today,
the work is still sitting there waiting for me to begin,
i do not know if tomorrow will be any different from this one,
i am just hoping i show up anyway and try;