--- title: I want to die date: 2008-05-31T14:16:02Z modified: 2008-05-31T14:16:02Z permalink: "https://www.poetryoflife.com/i-want-to-die/" type: post status: publish excerpt: "" wpid: 213 categories: - Life Poems author: Praveen Kumar timestamp: 2008-05-31T14:16:02Z tags: - Life Poems --- **Disclaimer:** This post in no way encourages suicide/killing or even glorifies death in any aspect. ————————————————————————————————————————- problems aplenty life is one big hell of a soap opera god closes one door and opens another but in my case, god closes one door(problem) and opens up many more doors (problems) sometimes i wonder if there is anyone called god while at times i wonder why god does this to me it seems with each step i take i sink deeper and deeper into the quicksand days keep rolling time seemingly [running](https://www.poetryoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/wp-mfa-exports/post/running-dark.md) a marathon but my problems dont move an inch each [day](https://www.poetryoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/wp-mfa-exports/post/better-days-are-coming.md) each night problems and more problems seemingly no escape seemingly no solution i question the very purpose of my existence with no one to worry about me with no one to call my own from one quicksand into another quicksand i drag myself everyday to live in the hope of escaping from it all you might think i am a probelamatic child you might think i am one “wretched” creature fact is i want to live fact is i want to be happy the simple truth is i have a life the simple truth is i want to be normal the simple truth is i am also a human with feelings the simple truth is i am not immune to pain the simple truth is, i am like you wanting to live like you be happy like you but unlike you my hands are tied i am this little angel stuck inside this prison with my wings clipped my feet tied to an iron ball i cannot fly away i cannot run away stuck here in this cage of mine i am a punchbag a punchbag my master takes out his anger on i am an angel stuck in hell i wait for a prince to rescue me i wait for my guardian angel to save me my tears and my cries are all invain with no strength left seemingly destined to live a life like this i [curse](https://www.poetryoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/wp-mfa-exports/post/curse.md) myself i blame myself for the life that is supposed to mine with no desire to live in this hell that is my home i want to die i want to die i want to die i squeeze in every ounce of strength that i can muster lift my hands high up in the [air](https://www.poetryoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/wp-mfa-exports/post/love-is-in-the-air.md) the iron ball that was once “tied” around my legs now lands with a thud on my angelic face the life that i dreamt of is just a [dream](https://www.poetryoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/wp-mfa-exports/post/its-just-like-a-dream.md) the life that i wished to have is just a wish the life that is mine is no more i wanted to die i wanted to escape life and now, with the blood slowly trickling away from my face my life is just a countdown away a simple count of one to ten a simple transformation of my life into death, that someone else wanted! (addon) a life that i once wanted to live now destined to be fulfilled only after death life is, afterall, a [dream](https://www.poetryoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/wp-mfa-exports/post/dream-weaver.md) from which death awakens us ————————————————————————————————————————– **note:** each day everyone one of us face a lot of obstacles and problems at almost every walk of life. Sometimes during such times of struggle, thoughts of ending one’s life def comes into everyone’s mind. Simply denying it for the heck of denying is stupidity. Maybe ppl would not publicily acknowledge it, but the fact is everyone at some point or the other would have thought about it – even if it is for a single [second](https://www.poetryoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/wp-mfa-exports/post/second-chance.md). **My fav quote is:-** “Life is a [dream](https://www.poetryoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/wp-mfa-exports/post/dream.md) from which death awakens us. hence the addon lines. The dream is all yours. How you live the dream is what matters. Maybe not all dreams come [true](https://www.poetryoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/wp-mfa-exports/post/that-much-is-true.md), but a dream is the biggest source of strength and inspiration that we all have and thats what separates us from normal primates and humans. Not all dreams are good and not all dreams are bad. Like real life, there are good dreams and bad dreams. We need to choose the ones we want and we need to have the “inner strength” to come out of the bad dream. Afterall, what happened yesterday is history, Whats happening today is reality and Whats going to happen tomorrow is destiny. And that destiny is in your hands 🙂 I do not want to get into an argument about destiny and god. another time, another poem 🙂 **some clarifications:** Angel = every one is an angel 🙂 As to prince, thats a general statement. Whenever in times of need, we tend to say “prince/brave warrior”, hence these lines 🙂